


Sebastian Stan is NOT the Winter Soldier

by ididliterallynothingtoday



Series: Sebastian Stan is NOT the Winter Soldier [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Mistaken Identity, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sebastian Stan is an actor and is not an assassin thank you very much, The FBI are stupid, lots of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 03:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18683533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ididliterallynothingtoday/pseuds/ididliterallynothingtoday
Summary: Kind of Endgame spoiler: Hot tub time machine was mentioned. Naturally that brings up the question, does Sebastian Stan exist in the MCU? The answer, simply, is yes! And he has to deal with all of the repercussions that sharing a face with a wanted assassin brings.Following his break out role in Hot Tub Time Machine the actor Sebastian Stan is enjoying his life in New York waiting to land his next big movie role... That is until he's arrested at gun point by the FBI. Why? He hasn't a fucking clue. But the nice Agent Carter seems to believe he's innocent.Something about a metal arm?





	Sebastian Stan is NOT the Winter Soldier

It all started after the fall of SHIELD. Sebastian had been watching the news along with everyone else and seeing the helicarriers crashing into the Triskelion in Washington bought back some unwanted 9/11 feelings for him and a lot of other New Yorkers. But then the city's response afterwards was kind of what made Sebastian love living in New York. Sure, a lot of them had nearly died in the alien invasion a few years back, but as ever the main feeling that over took the city after both events was one of togetherness. They stood in solidarity with the people of Washington as others had stood with them so many years ago, and life went on. The SHIELD headquarters were demolished, the rubble was cleaned up and apart from the Black Widow’s public interrogation on the TV, all coverage of the event died down and people just carried on with their lives. And so did Sebastian, that is, until he was held up by the FBI at gun point in his local Starbucks.

The day had started off great. It was a perfectly crisp autumn day in New York and Sebastian had gone for an early morning run before heading home, via said Starbucks. He waited in line with everyone else, browsing his phone and checking his emails. When he got to the counter he said good morning to the Barista and ordered and an iced black coffee to go before moving to one side to let the next customer make their order. He was so engrossed in his emails he didn’t notice the elderly man in a suit entering the shop and politely asking people to leave. He didn’t even notice the Barista’s stop making drinks, slowly edging into the back room of the shop.

He _did_ notice the flash bang.

Disoriented by the light and smoke Sebastian dropped his phone, choking slightly as he breathed in the contaminated air. What the hell was going on? As the ringing in his ears stopped he began to hear the shouting. “Get down! Down on your knees now! This is the FBI, we have you surrounded! Surrender!” Not knowing what else to do Sebastian dropped to the floor. Who the hell was in here that the FBI had to come bursting in like that? His vision still had specks of bright white in and he could barely see what was going on. Groping for his phone, semi blind, Sebastian began to panic. He tried to stay low to the floor. Not finding his phone Sebastian gave up and shuffled backwards, pressing himself up against the wall near the end of the counter and tried to make himself as small as possible. He rubbed the heel of his palms across his eyes trying to will his vision back. As the lights began to dissipate and the smoke began to clear Sebastian started to see the looming black shapes around him. FBI agents in full tactical gear, assault rifles all aimed at him. He barely had time to contemplate what the fuck was going on before he had a black bag over his head and was being handcuffed. They weren’t even normal handcuffs either, they were great big metal wrist bands and as soon as they were shut Sebastian could feel the blood struggling to reach his hands. He tried to speak but before he could he was being dragged out of the coffee shop and flung unceremoniously into the back of a van.

Slowing down his breathing Sebastian tried to remain calm, but his fear gave way to annoyance and then to anger. He had an audition later and he was probably going to miss it now. He ground his teeth together and spoke, “Can I ask what the _fuck_ is going on here?” He heard laughter from somewhere in front of him.

“You can ask pal but we have literally no fucking obligation to tell you.” A male voice replied.

Sebastian sat up on the floor of the van and pulled the hood off. He was sat inside some sort of glass container. “What the hell?” he protested, “Isn’t this against my human rights or something? You can’t just abduct people in broad daylight.”

  
“We can if they’re a wanted criminal, and you sir are the FBI’s most wanted.” The male in question turned around from the passenger’s seat at the front of the van. He wore a bullet proof vest and an FBI jacket.

Sebastian couldn’t help but laugh. Surely this was some kind of prank his friends were pulling? He wasn’t a wanted criminal! “I’m an actor!”

“Sure. In as much any spy is an actor. Shut your mouth, we’re taking you to headquarters for processing.” The supposed FBI agent turned back around, reaching for the walkie talkie in the central panel of the van, “We have the fugitive. Heading back now.”

***

Sebastian gave up trying to protest. He had tried to back in the van as he was driven… wherever, but his pleas had fallen on deaf ears and then they had simply cut off his communication to the outside world and he was trapped, disoriented, in his glass prison. He sat in silence for the rest of the short journey and remained so as his cube was slid out of the back of the van and wheeled along some corridors before being dumped in a non-descript white room. The rooms only other contents were a desk and chair, currently unoccupied.

It felt like forever until someone came into the room, a female agent this time. Blonde and smartly dressed in black suit, crisp blue shirt underneath her neatly fitting jacket. She placed a stack of files on the desk, along with a steaming mug of coffee before coming over to his cube and pressing some buttons on the panel outside. “Can you hear me?” she asked. Sebastian nodded in reply and the woman turned around and headed back to the desk, perching on it. She took a sip of coffee, wincing ever so slightly, before starting to speak again, “Good morning Sergeant Barnes. My name is Agent Carter, I’m with the FBI. I’ve been tasked with talking to you this morning about recent events you were involved in. Can I start by asking, do you know where you are right now?”

“Am I still in New York?”

“Yes, you are. Do you know why you are here, Sergeant?”

“Honestly? I haven’t a fucking clue, and I have no idea who Sergeant Barnes is either. So if we could hurry whatever this is up so I can go home and get changed before work that would be great.” Sebastian stood, clumsily and made his way to the door of his small cell. He watched as Agent Carter’s posture stiffened slightly, one hand reaching underneath her jacket. Sebastian caught sight of the handle of a gun. His eyes widened. “You know I really think there’s been a misunderstanding here. I’m not whoever you think I am. Really!”

Hand resting lightly on the heel of her gun Agent Carter replied, “Is that so? And who are you exactly?”

“My name is Sebastian Stan. I’m an actor! You can look me up online!” Sebastian pressed his hands up to the glass, face imploring, “Seriously! I mean it! Can’t you take, like, my fingerprints or something? I can put you in contact with my agent? She can verify who I am! Is this because I’m an immigrant? I’m a naturalised citizen you know. I have rights!” Sebastian had begun to ramble, pawing at the glass. He knew he was sounding more and more desperate but this clearly wasn’t a prank and he really just wanted to go home. He also really wanted some of that coffee.

“Hold up your hands.” Agent Carter said, walking towards the cube. It was practically comedic how quickly Sebastian threw his arms in the air. “No, just your hands, let me see.” He held his hands forwards towards her and she frowned. “Please take off your hoodie.”

Sebastian began to unzip his hoodie and pull it down, then he remembered the large metal cuffs. “I can’t fully…” he started, gesturing limply.

“It’s okay. Just let me see your left arm.” Agent Carter was practically pressed up against the glass now and when Sebastian moved towards her this time, she showed no signs of flinching. He showed his partially bared left arm to her. “It’s flesh?” she questioned, more to herself than to Sebastian but he replied any way.

“What the hell else would it be made of?”

The agent's frown deepened, “Can you pull the neck of your t-shirt to one side? I need to see your left shoulder.” Sebastian rolled his eyes but complied.

“You need me to just take the damn t-shirt off?” Sebastian joked weakly.

“There will be no need for that, Mr Stan.” She pulled a communication device out of her jacket pocket, “Can I get whatever fucking moron arrested the Winter Soldier to interrogation room 312 A please?” Returning the device to her jacket Agent Carter began pressing buttons on the door of the cell again. The door opened with a slight puff as the air pressure changed. Agent Carter gestured for Sebastian to step out, and as soon as he did so she grabbed the cuffs and took them off. Sebastian massaged the feeling back into his hands and wrists. “I am so sorry for this misunderstanding Mr Stan. It appears that a terrible mistake has been made on our part.”

Just as she was apologising the agent from the van earlier stepped into the room. He saw Sebastian standing outside of his cell and immediately grabbed his gun, but dropped it as Agent Carter threw the giant steel cuffs at him. He just about managed to catch them.

“Carl, can you please come over here for a second?” Agent Carter asked smiling, her voice was sickly sweet. _The kind of sweet that people only use when they are about to verbally tear the shit out of someone_ , Sebastian thought as he stood just behind Agent Carter, smiling open mouthed and waiting to see what would happen next. He watched as Carl made his way over to them. From the look on Carl’s face it was clear he had been thinking the same thing as Sebastian.

“Would you please examine the prisoners left arm, Carl?” Agent Carter said, turning around and reaching to bring Sebastian’s arm forwards, pushing up his sleeve.

Carl’s Adams apple bobbed as he swallowed visibly. “Yes Ma’am.” He examined the arm briefly.

“What does this look like Carl?”

The look of confusion on Carl’s face was priceless and his eyes darted around before he answered, “Uhh, it looks like an um- arm, ma’am?”

“Yes, Carl an arm. Touch it, Carl.”

“Ma’am?” Carl licked his lips nervously. Why the hell was his boss asking him to feel up the Winter Soldier? And why the hell did the Winter Soldier look so happy about it?

“Touch the prisoner’s arm, Carl.” Agent Carters words came out clipped and low, with a definite threat behind them. Whatever was going on Sebastian could feel it was almost over and he lifted his arm higher towards the male agent in from of him.

“Yeah Carl, touch my arm.” Sebastian said. He had no fucking clue what was going on but he played along. He was an actor after all. He could do improv.

Carl reached a hand out and prodded Sebastian’s forearm. A slight sheen of sweat had started to form on his forehead and on his top lip. He wiped it away with the back of his other hand. “Definitely an arm, ma’am.” He tried to joke, but as he spoke, he seemed to realised his mistake.

Both Sebastian and Agent Carter watched the moment of realisation dawn on Carl’s face. Agent Carter looking satisfied, a smirk playing on her lips, Sebastian mainly looking confused but happy to help whatever was happening. “It is an arm, isn’t it? Now please tell us, Carl, what kind of left arm does the Winter Soldier have?”

“Uhh, metal, ma’am.”

“Very good. And what kind of arm does our guest here have, Carl?”

“A um- normal one, ma’am.”

“Exactly, Carl. Do you see the problem here?” Agent Carter asked, the sickly-sweet smile back on her face.

“We may have arrested the wrong person?” Carl was shuffling from foot to foot as he spoke.

Letting go of Sebastian’s arm, Agent Carter took a step closer to her colleague. “And what exactly do you think we should do about this situation?”

Staring at the floor Carl replied, “Let the prisoner go?”

“Great start,” Agent Carter clapped hand on Carl’s shoulder causing him to flinch, “But what else do you think we can do?”

The male agents face paled, “Am I- am I suspended, ma’am?”

“Yes Carl. Yes you are.” She let go of Carl’s shoulder and moved to put a hand on Sebastian’s back, “Mr Stan if you could come with me to the front desk upstairs, I will arrange a transport for you to be returned home. Also, I will need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement. The investigation you were wrongly caught up in is ongoing and me and my superiors cannot have you leaking anything to the press.”

“Yeah, I mean, sure, whatever you need.” He laughed a little, glad to finally be getting out of here. The adrenaline from the morning’s events had long worn off and to be honest Sebastian just wanted to go home for a nap. He’d drop his agent an email on the way home and try and reschedule the audition he was supposed to be going to.

As they headed up in the elevator Agent Carter tried to make small talk. She was evidently trying to get Sebastian on her side after everything that had happened. She needn’t have tried. Sebastian was one hundred percent behind her after she had rescued him from whatever the fuck kind of mess he was in. “You’re an immigrant huh? Where are you from?”

“Romania. I left when I was like 8 though.”

“Interesting.” Carter mused, “I really am sorry about this whole thing by the way. Agent Williams, Carl, is kind of- He’s not the sharpest agent the bureau has to offer.”

Sebastian laughed as they exited the lift. He could see New York bustling just outside the glass walls of the foyer and he was itching to just run out the door. Instead he followed Agent Carter to the front desk where she did exactly as she promised. Within about five minutes Sebastian was out the door and on his way home in an FBI SUV. He watched the city go by and contemplated what he was going to have for his late lunch. His stomach growled. Pizza. He was going to have a fuck tonne of Pizza.

Also, he was seriously going to have to google who this Sergeant Barnes guy was when he got home. But he was totally ordering Pizza first.

***

After their colossal fuck up in New York the FBI’s Winter Soldier Search Team, code name: operation ice man, had moved back to Washington and broadened their horizons. They had failed to find James Barnes on home soil, and so had taken the search for the wanted criminal international. Using a series of complex facial recognition algorithms, the bureau had its people in embassies all around the world liaising with the main search team in Washington to scan all CCTV cameras they could access for any sign of the assassin. There was a gargantuan amount of data to search through and each branch would filter all possible hits before passing them up the chain to stop the main team being overwhelmed with siting’s as they tried to map the Soldier’s potential movements. Taking their search worldwide involved a lot of information sharing. The core team, spear headed by Agent Sharon Carter, made sure to circulate a comprehensive dossier with information on all of the Winter Soldier’s known aliases, with a full history of his previous work. It was such a complete history thanks in part to the online leak of SHIELD data by the Black Widow. But Agent Carter had made sure to add one important addendum to the end of the file, on page 229. It began “Stan, Sebastian. Born: 1982, Constanța Romania...”

So, naturally when the FBI agents posted in the US embassy in Bucharest kept getting CCTV hits for the Winter Soldier, they just ignored it. I mean it was probably just that Stan guy, right? He was Romanian after all. Probably just here visiting family or something. Yeah, he maybe looked like he needed a shower and shave, but he was an actor who was between jobs. No need for a follow up. Or to pass the information on to the team in Washington. What Agent Carter had done to the last person who incorrectly arrested the Stan, mistaking him for Barnes, was a topic of hot debate among the agents in the various branches of the search team. It was whispered that she’d had him fired, but only after breaking _both_ his arms, or legs depending on who you spoke to. And she was an ex-SHIELD agent, the mysterious Agent 13, so they knew those rumours just had to be true… Best to leave Mr Stan alone to enjoy the city.

Nothing would come of it, they were sure.


End file.
